chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
