i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i love accidental penises.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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