Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
