i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize