i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
