The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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