420 ftw
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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