Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
pop tarts are not kleenex
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
we should paint friendship bongs
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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