is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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