you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
