Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It was confusing and full of hummus
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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