you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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