i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
