'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
