My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
