mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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