theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
