he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
