I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Randomize
