Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
