If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
