She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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