Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize