So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have aggressive nipples.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
