my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
