can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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