you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
