Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
