Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
