Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
