Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
