I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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