not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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