Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We got so high we made milksteak
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And then he peed in my hair
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