am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
