Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
