I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
