YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
