i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
