Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
