The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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