Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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