we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
