im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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