Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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