I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
