Kiss
Puke
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
