we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
