Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
