I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
