I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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