That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
