I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
