Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
