i may or may not be watching the land before time
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
