Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
