I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
