So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
