I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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