Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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