It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
