my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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