Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
