my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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