Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
