I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
