her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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