i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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