maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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