I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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