Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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