I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Boobs are out for the taking
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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