Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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