I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
