My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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