Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize