My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
