What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
