Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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