Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
