So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
