i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize