I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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