The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
